Speedskater hot dater – Chicago

I am not a speedskater, though somtimes i like to walk way too fast down the sidewalk with an extremely determined look on my face muttering swears. i hate baseball. i do, however, enjoy making up players who have never existed when forced into sports related conversation . Taffy eating contests at busy bus stops....yes. I enjoy talking loudly in public places with made up important sounding adjectives, dropping foreign dignitaries' names and false geography. On occasion I stand up at Red Lobster and address the room with a story of how my father was a lobster fisherman and how he was dragged overboard in a lobster trap and drowned, all so that you precious people could enjoy your precious lobster. Somtimes i can work up some tears. Please respond only in haiku. you may include a picture of yourself visiting a place that you hated or a picture of your kitchen.